Coming Out of the Deep Waters of Perfection

Flourishing Hope Counseling

Coming Out of the Deep Waters of Perfection


Perfection: It’s like you’re drowning in the water, but everyone around you thinks you’re having a good time playing. ~ Anonymous

Come out of the water and back onto the beach. It’s Summertime and down here in South Texas it’s pretty much always hot. It’s almost beach season year round. As an amazing counselor I have the opportunity to help people become their very best self. I love what I do! In counseling, we dive into the deep. We get into the deep and treacherous waters of life, at the same time we rise above and reach great success. I decided to share this post about breaking away from negative self-talk and perfection qualities that are not healthy for anyone. I find myself encouraging people to be their true self all the time. Find your way back onto dry land and away from the depths of negative-self talk and self-doubt.


When you are not accepting of yourself shady things can happen such as:  

  • Not feeling safe
  • Finding it hard to trust others/yourself
  • Emotions all over the place and out of order
  • Decreased quality of relationships
  • Mentally unable to make decisions
  • Being in unhealthy environments
  • Decline in physical health
  • Not pleased with yourself/others
  • Poor job satisfaction


Benefits of making these health changes:

  • Increased sense of safety and security
  • Gained stability
  • Involved with supportive trusting people
  • In-tune with your emotions
  • Improve quality relationships
  • Able to make clear decisions because you love and trust yourself
  • No longer in unhealthy environments and if you are you know how to get out
  • Increased physical health because you are putting yourself first in every way
  • Job satisfaction
  • You love yourself/others



How to get started

Some people are really good at hiding the true feelings they have about themselves. Others are masters at pretending like everything is okay even if their world is crashing down around them. They get so darn good at faking the funk that they even start to believe that they truly are okay with everything. As you read these blogs and get to know a little bit more about me you will find that I don’t sugar coat life at all. Life can be tough; sometimes it sucks and sometimes things are really difficult to overcome. At the same time, life can be beautiful! Experiences can be amazing and you have the greatest potential inside of you waiting to be unlocked. Life can get better. You can overcome. You can get better. You can succeed. Real change requires real change, and if you are willing to do the work great success came come your way. Instead of pretending let’s go deep. Here are some areas to look at, to start making improvements in your life.


Practice acceptance

Learning to love yourself for who you are is key. Instead of sitting there comparing yourself to everyone around you (which typically does little good to your spirit) embrace your own journey. See your experiences as part of your journey to greatness instead of failure. Negative self-talk can leave you feeling like you’re not good enough. Self-doubt will have you doubting your talents, strengthens and abilities.


Get in touch with your emotions

How you feel about things directly influences how you will act. When a situation comes up consider how you feel. We choose our behaviors. Sometimes it’s hard to slow down and take a quick pause before you respond. Often you could find yourself moving on autopilot. It takes a major shift to move from being reactive to proactive. When you become more in-tune with your feelings you can move with some style and grace.


Reflection questions:

The “I” is in these statements is intentional, we must examine ourselves in order to grow.
  • What are the feelings I have?
  • How have I been handling your feelings?
  • What would happen if I didn’t hide anymore?


Before change can occur, you must be real with yourself first. Click To Tweet


Stop faking

Real respects real. Stop hiding who you are and become real with yourself. It’s not so much about other people, as much as it is important that you are real with yourself. When you are faking the funk you know it. Faking it influences how you feel about yourself. We’ve all heard the term “fake it till you make it.” When it comes to dealing with yourself DON’T FAKE IT. Be true to yourself. If you are not true to yourself how can you expect others to embrace you for who you truly are? They don’t know the real you.


Find supportive people

Be selective about who you allow into your life. Don’t just take anybody into your crew of trusted people. Only forward moving supportive people that have your best intentions at heart. Do not worry about hurting someone’s feelings, by not letting them in. You and your happiness are your responsibility. You must take control of what you allow into the inner court of your mind and heart. Be selective it’s a good thing. When you practice this healthy change, you are directly showing that you care about yourself.


Plan and a brighter future

It’s important to know that where you are right now is only temporary. There is so much greatness in-store for you. Plan for your future. Don’t let the past define who you will become. Yes, it’s part of your story, it does not define you. Imagine the most amazing life for yourself. What would you be doing? Who would be with you? Where will you live? What will you be doing? How will you feel? Take tiny steps to start making this a reality and not a dream. Do not delay your happiness. When you start to have those negative thoughts consider what would happen if you continue in that mindset. Do the opposite of what you are feeling. This means get off the couch, get out of bed. Get into the driver’s seat of your life and get going!


Key takeaways:

Coming back onto the beach and out of the dark waters can be difficult, but so worth it. When you make the needed steps to change your life wonderful things happen. Practice taking care of yourself first. You do not have to drown in negative-self talk or self-doubt. When you make these positive changes, you gain so much more.



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Flourishing Hope Counseling PLLC is a Kingsville, Texas Private Practice.




Photo above “Waves”  by Grempz is licensed under (CC BY-NC 2.0)