“Some Women Fear the Fire. Some Women Simply Become it.” -R.H. Sin
This quote is one of my most favorite quotes of all time. When I am being faced with a challenge that I know is going to take a lot more effort I recall this quote. Even as a fantastic counselor providing amazing counseling (positive self-talk) to people, I am not immune to the challenges of life. In order to truly embrace life for all it has to offer learning to face the fires is necessary. Fear is the thing that prevents many people from moving forward in life. Self-doubt and negative thoughts keep many people locked away from their greatest potential.
It’s possible as you read the quote above that you thought about a time where you let fear stop you from moving forward. A number of thoughts could have run through your mind. One that’s me I become the fire. Two I wish that was me. I wish I could face the fires of my life. Three that will never be me, I will never be able to face the fires of my life. Today is the last day of the negative mindset. Learning how to face your fires (fears) and removing self-doubt is a must if you want to truly embrace life. I love questions and really getting to know people. I have a question for you. What would it look like if you did not fear the fire?
Common thoughts of people living in fear and self-doubt:
- I’m not smart
- I should be further along in life
- I should have done better
- Everyone is going to think I’m dumb
- I am not going to do well
- I am afraid
- I am worried
- This will be embarrassing
- It probably won’t work
- I hate myself
- I am not a good person
The good stuff that happens
When we start to stand up to the fires that life sometimes brings great things can happen. We can begin to live a life that is more satisfying. Instead of living in the woulda, coulda, shouldas we live in the now. Of course we do not want to be burned. Naturally most times people do everything they can to not get hurt. Consider how much more gratifying life can be if we embrace the experience instead of living with regret. Just because we do not get completely burned by the fire doesn’t mean we want experience smoke damage. There may still be remnants from the fires that life sometimes brings. Learning to wrestle with the fires instead of avoiding them can help you reach your full potential. If you make this change you can experience life in an amazing way. You are not called to just exist but to expand your territory. Below are just a few of the many benefits that can happen when you face the fires in your life.
Benefits of facing the fire
- Live a life that pleases you.
- Have more happiness
- Experience more joy
- Decrease anxiety
- Find out what you are truly capable of
- Come out of the shadows of fear
- Decrease your worry
- Improve your relationships
- Feel more secure and stable
- Fight back against depression
- Embrace moments instead of living in regret
Things you can do to start fanning the flames
Say to yourself I am here
Stay present in the moment, instead of getting to far ahead of yourself. Look at where you are, get your bearings and move forward. Don’t think about the next 13 years of your life. Think about today at this exact moment where you are.
Instead of thinking about everything that can go wrong. Consider what can go right. Show up and try. Do not just sit in bed or lay on the couch, thinking about what you must get done. Don’t spend extra time thinking about how you are not doing it whatever it is.
Do something instead of just thinking about it. When we embrace life instead of avoiding life we grow. In every building there are exit signs. You can have an exit strategy, however you must do something in order to find out what you are made of.
Just like with swimming sometimes we just have to take the plunge and go all in. Don’t give yourself time to think too long. The temperature of the water may not be perfect. The sun may be half way between the clouds but that doesn’t mean it’s not shining. Your bathing suit may not match your towel to dry off that doesn’t mean they won’t let you into the pull. All of those circumstances doesn’t mean that you give up.
Make no excuses for yourself
Yes, life will be challenging at times. Yes, there will be obstacles. There will be set backs and yes there will be disappointments. I know this part doesn’t sound that much like a pep talk but bear with me it gets better. Since we know that there will be those down moments in life make no excuses for yourself. Get up and make things happen. Get up and face the day. Face the fears that have been holding you down for far too long.
What is one thing that fire (fear) has taken from you for far too long? What will you do about it?
Experience this kind of personal growth by contacting us at @ FHC.
Flourishing Hope Counseling PLLC is a Kingsville, Texas Private Practice.