Red Flags of Unhealthy Relationships

Flourishing Hope Counseling

Red Flags of Unhealthy Relationships

 Relationships can be some of the most rewarding parts of life. You have the opportunity to be open, vulnerable and accepted by another person. You get the chance to connect with someone on a more intense level and experience a new level of trust. All of this is healthy and wonderful. The other not so nice side is when relationships are toxic and unhealthy. Being able to recognize the red flags of a toxic relationship is essential. Discover great tips for responding to toxic people in your life.


Red flags of unhealthy relationships:

  • Doesn’t like it when you hang out with others
  • Cries often when you want to do things that does not involve the person
  • The person may get upset if you are not with them
  • Emotionally you feel drained
  • Experiencing bulling
  • Negative impact on work and other important aspects of your life
  • Desires to preoccupy all of your time
  • Leaves you feeling guilty when you haven’t done anything wrong
  • You start to not feel good about yourself


Set boundaries

Don’t respond to text messages and phone calls right away. The person should not rely on you to be available at every moment. This is not healthy for you. It’s not healthy for the person either. When people rely on others to fill a void or find a sense of fulfillment it leaves little room for them to become self-reliant. Use positive self-talk when you do this to build yourself up. Not responding or setting boundaries can be uncomfortable. Remind yourself you are not a meanie. We teach people how to treat us, if we allow those actions that are not healthy we encourage the behavior to continue.


    The person is super clingy  +  You respond to everything at every moment = 

  • You feeling overwhelmed
  • You feeling unappreciated
  • You feeling used
  • You feeling unsupported
  • You feeling like a parent not a partner in the relationship


Start using self-soothing skills

Learning to sooth the self is an essential part of healthy living. There will be times in life when you will experience moments of discomfort. Generally, people will do whatever it takes to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Learning how to soothe yourself in those moments of stress, anxiety and discomfort are super important.  Healthy distractions are supportive of positive change. Redirecting the discomfort to something more positive is key. Tap into your senses, touch, taste, smell, sight and hearing. Immediately in that moment of discomfort take a deep breath and feel it on the inside. This is something everyone can practice. Learning to soothe can help any person working through a difficult moment.

Encourage support

When we see signs of progress life tends to improve. It helps to see glimmers of hope throughout your journey. Relationships are a journey. They have both high and low moments. Relationships have both shining moments and dark periods. It is sometimes difficulty to remain positive when the dark moments happen. This, is why encouragement is a huge part of making progress in life. This tip is one that must be used with caution. You may be thinking how could encouraging a person become a bad thing. Too much of anything is not good. If the person starts to rely solely on your encouragement rather than finding their own strength you are moving into the danger zone.


These are only a few tips for helping improve relationships. No matter what type of relationship it is you deserve peace of mind. Work, roommate, family, romantic, online, and any other type of relationship included must be healthy for you. You set the tone.  We want to encourage you have the healthiest relationships. You are the best and you deserve the best! Stay tuned for more insightful information to help you grow inside and out.


Additional resources


Self soothing checklist



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 Flourishing Hope Counseling PLLC is a Kingsville, Texas Private Practice.



Photo above “Red flag” by Daniel Kulinski is licensed under (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)