“For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.”
― Suzanne Collins
Betrayal trauma is the result of a devastating experience of betrayal from someone whom a person once trusted. It involves a violation of trust being broken by someone you believed was in your best interest. Betrayal trauma causes a wide range of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms. Some of the signs and symptoms of betrayal trauma are anxiety, depression, decreased confidence, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts and images, nightmares and flashbacks, sleep difficulties, and withdrawal socially. Many of the symptoms are similar to PTSD and C-PTSD symptoms. To move forward, it is important to give yourself time to process this type of trauma.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Give yourself permission to acknowledge and express your feelings. Do this with trusted people. Although in many situations communication is key when you are dealing with a narcissist, it is not wise to express your feelings to the narcissist. The narcissist may use what you have shared with them against you. They can cause you more harm. allow yourself to feel all of your emotions. It is common to live to experience feelings such as pain, anger, hurt, and, of course, betrayal. Exploring your emotions will help you to better understand yourself and your experiences. This will support you in your healing from the betrayal trauma.
Expect to Experience Grief
Grief happens whenever there is a loss of anything that is of significance. You can expect to experience some or all the elements of grief as you process the betrayal trauma. As you acknowledge your emotions, you can expect to experience denial, shock, depression, bargaining, anger, and acceptance. There are additional stages of grief you may experience, such as shame or guilt. If you are trauma-bonded to the person who betrayed you, you can expect the feelings of grief, betrayal, and sadness to be intensified. It is important to give yourself time to process the betrayal and the grief from the betrayal.
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Seek Support
It’s important to have a safe space to express your feelings and find support. Support can come in the form of support groups, trusted family, and friends. Connect with your support system. Consider going to counseling. Work with a counselor you feel comfortable talking to about your experiences. If you have experienced betrayal trauma, make sure to connect with a counselor who specializes in narcissism and narcissistic abuse recovery.
Take Care of Yourself
As you process the betrayal trauma, it is important to take care of yourself. Making your self-care a priority. Take care of your physical and mental health. The pain from the intense level of betrayal and hurt is so deep that it is important to reduce your stress. Create morning and evening routines to give structure to your life. Make sure to eat, shower, and drink water. It is very easy for people processing betrayal trauma to forget basic needs. In a time in your life when you feel very uncomfortable, it is important to make yourself comfortable.
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Create Boundaries
It is important to create boundaries. After experiencing such an intense violation of trust by the betrayal, you may find yourself feeling unsafe. Creating boundaries will allow you to increase your sense of safety and stability. You must create a safe space for yourself as you continue to process the betrayal.
Be Patient with Yourself
Giving yourself the time you need to process the betrayal trauma will support you in your healing journey. Because betrayal comes from a person that you once trusted or believed was in your best interest, the hurt is intense. This also means that it may take a significant amount of time to come to a place of acceptance about what has occurred. By giving yourself the time to process the betrayal trauma, you can move forward positively and healthily.
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