Grief is often felt as a sense of deep sadness when something or someone we value greatly is lost. This incomprehensible unhappiness can be observed in many ways; however, a few examples are anger, denial, frequent sighing, shortness of breath, or purposeful busyness. Most people encountering loss experience a mental and emotional state of agony that is a very personal occurrence of internal pressure and pain. Since grief can appear differently within people, culture, as well as ethnicity, it must be explored and evaluated on a person-by-person basis.
Some Reactions to Loss
The experience of grief can feel disabling and confusing. Typically, this is due to the lack of knowledge about what to do or where to start with processing such deep sadness, hurt, vulnerability, uncertainty, disappointment, and at times, the loss of a sense of emotional security. First, the fact that you are reacting with such countless negative emotions is an indicator that an undesirable change has occurred whether actual or perceived.
Grief reactions or responses happen because significant worth has been placed upon persons, places, or things. Reactions are usually intuitive. They just transpire without thought. For example, when you lose an important person or thing, you don’t try to experience a deep sadness or think about whether you will allow the deep sadness to happen. You just feel the deep sadness. On the other hand, responses seem to require internal questioning and thought processing.
Loss and Attachment
When we treasure something or someone, we want to hold on to it for as long as we can. You are holding on to the meaning you have assigned to this person, place, or thing. So, once a threat of losing the treasure presents, the experience of grief begins. We develop strong internal bonds with the people and things we love. In other words, we become emotionally attached to people and things regardless of whether they are good for us or not. Therefore, we must engage in the working through; meaning to take the time to examine, question, and think about our grief reactions and responses.
Coping with Loss
Grief counseling will provide support that helps in decreasing the risks of becoming unable to let go of your loss and move forward with your life. Progressing beyond shock and denial will be the first step toward accepting your very difficult circumstances and behaving purposefully in growing despite the objectionable events. Next, it is important to explore any suppression of feelings in order to avoid anxiety and depressive mood states. My hopes are that you will learn to live apart from the presence of your loved one, reorganize and ascribe new meaning for your life, while embracing your new normal.
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GET THE DOWNLOADSEstablishing Emotional Safety
Losses are usually very devastating for the bereaved person. Establishing emotional safety involves taking time to consider what you need to take care of yourself. Think about the family, friends, or clergy you share a connection with. Consider choosing a counselor competent to support grieving persons. While making your choices, give some thought to how each of these individuals will be able to meet your mental, emotional, practical, and behavioral needs. Family, friends, clergy, or your counselor, will aid in establishing emotional safety by fostering a secure space while accompanying you in this time of sadness, pain, and overall vulnerability.
Natural Strategies Helpful for Healing
In light of the potential for psychological and emotional exhaustion in times of grief, it is noteworthy to think about strategies meaningful to you for healing. If you are aware of ways in which your culture commemorates losses, it might help you through this tough time. Talking with one of your emotionally safe people is one natural approach to restoration. Your counselor will come alongside you through the stages of grief, validation, and self-exploration as well as be supportive in gaining a sense of direction for your future. Other safe individuals might be valuable with conducting a ceremony in memory of your loss.
Additional assistances for self-soothing are exercise, journaling, or connecting with your hobby; simply a few ways for you to cope when others aren’t around. It is instinctive to cry and need rest. Do it; as long as it is balanced with getting up, dressed, and out sometimes. Involvement in activities will decrease the chances of suffering negative mood states long-term.
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FIND JOYTools for Resilience
Change is a part of life. Changes cannot always be controlled. Work on accepting that my friend. This is why it is important to have skills and tools to adapt to fluctuations. Having skills for resilience will help to connect with your inner strength so that you will be able to confront and recover from the challenges affecting your life. Self-awareness, self-compassion, self-care, confidence, gratitude, and a plan for the future are good competencies to begin with as a means of tackling tough events.
Make the time to focus on how you feel, think, and behave in situations. This type of concentration will help in being prepared to pinpoint what you need in various circumstances. Self-awareness will also be helpful in directing people in your support group. By knowing yourself, you will be able to express to others how they can best assist you during your difficulty.
The kindness of compassion is not just for giving to other people; you can also extend it to yourself. Not only does self-compassion decrease anxiety, depression, and unnecessary stress, but it increases feelings of hope, and contentment, as well as moves one toward acceptance of change.
A few ways to actively participate in self-care is to eat well, rest, go outside even when you don’t feel like it, practice gratitude, and allow yourself to lean on your support group. Although loss is hard, trust that you can get through this turbulent time. The intense pain of grief should not last forever. In normal grief, people will be able to establish a plan for the future. If you are finding it difficult to think about a future without your loved one, your grief might be complicated. Reach out to your counselor for support.
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