How to Stay Strong After Leaving a Narcissist

If you felt like you were strong and then you experienced a narcissist, you may not feel so strong anymore. In many circumstances, your strength has served you well. Being “strong” when dealing with a narcissist may not always serve you well. Examples of applying strength in unhealthy ways are believing “I’m strong enough to handle the abuse,” “I’m strong enough to make this person love me,” or “I’ve committed so much and I’m going to stay strong by remaining committed to the relationship.” Answering the question of how to stay strong after leaving a narcissist is not a quick and easy process.

Staying strong after leaving a narcissist takes real commitment. I’ll start by saying using the word “strong” must be used carefully when healing from narcissistic abuse. Sometimes, when people are going through a difficult experience, such as narcissistic abuse, and they are told that they are strong unintentionally, it feels invalidating.

Being with a narcissist affects every aspect of your life. Many survivors struggle with PTSD, C-PTSD, anxiety, low confidence, grief, and betrayal trauma. None of this means that the survivors have not been strong. It means dealing with narcissistic abuse is hard and complicated. You can heal from narcissistic abuse. Here are some tips to show you how to stay strong after leaving the narcissist.

If the pain was deep, you will have to let it go many times.

-Yung Pueblo

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Give yourself the time you need to process the different emotions you feel. Even when you decide to leave a narcissist, it doesn’t mean it is easy. You can expect to experience feelings of grief. Processing through the shock, denial, bargaining, anger, shame, guilt, and acceptance takes a lot of work. Start acknowledging your feelings by beginning to identify what the feeling is for you. Do not judge the feeling, just allow it to process within your heart and mind.

Take Time for Yourself

Staying strong after leaving a narcissist takes time. Give yourself the much-needed time to process the different emotions as well as experiences. This means you will spend time reflecting. It is natural to ruminate over past experiences. Do not try to rush through the healing process. To be strong after leaving a narcissist, you must give yourself grace consistently. Be patient with yourself as you ride through the waves of highs and lows. There will be moments when you genuinely do feel strong, as if you can fight this battle. You will also experience moments where you feel completely defeated and without any fight left inside of you.

Seek Support

Connecting with your support system is an important part of staying strong in the fight to heal from our narcissistic abuse. Talking with friends and family is a great way to break the isolation and loneliness that you may feel after leaving the narcissist. connect with supportive nonjudgmental people. It is important to be watchful about connecting to mutual people, friends, and family connected to the narcissist. Also, establishing healthy boundaries within your support system is important. You do not have to share every detail of your story with the people in your support system. Share where you feel comfortable sharing and keep the rest for journaling and personal processing.

Practice Self-Care

To stay strong after leaving a narcissist, you must prioritize your self-care. Examples of self-care are making sure that your mental, emotional, physical, social, financial, and spiritual needs are being met. Make sure to pay attention to your basic needs, such as receiving quality sleep, eating healthy meals, and exercising regularly. Many survivors struggle to remember these basic needs after leaving a narcissist. Spend time doing activities that help you to de-stress. Participate in activities that are calming for you. It is helpful to consider things such as reading, listening to music, going for walks, and coloring.

Focus on What You Can Control

Being with a narcissist creates a lot of anxiety and instability in your life. You may have felt like your life has been completely out of control and filled with chaos. After leaving, the narcissists make sure that you focus on what you can control. This will give you not only a sense but a true experience with creating safety and stability within your life. It’s helpful not to focus all of your attention on the narcissist. You can’t control them anyway. You do get to control yourself and the quality of your life. Take every step you can to create healthy foundations for recovery. Be intentional about making positive changes. Set goals that are going to create a healthy life.

Go to Counseling

A great help for helping you recover from narcissistic abuse is going to counseling. Consider your counselor as a part of your professional support system. Going to counseling is a helpful way to process difficult emotions and experiences. Counselors provide a safe space for you to process without judgment. choose a counselor who specializes in narcissistic abuse. The counselor may also experience betrayal, trauma, grief, anxiety, rebuilding confidence, and depression. It is important to select the counselor you feel comfortable speaking with about your experiences and emotions. Expect to learn healthy coping strategies and techniques for working through your healing process.

Staying strong after leaving a narcissist is difficult but not impossible. With self-care, patience, professional help, support, and time, you can heal from this painful time in your life. You are capable of moving forward healthily.

When you’re ready for steady support that won’t rush you, this is where restoration begins to move forward, one steady step at a time.

You don’t have to figure it all out; just choose the kind of support that feels right to begin with for you.

No pressure. No rush. Just support that meets you where you are. You’re in control of what comes next.