How to Crush a Narcissist

To effectively deal with a narcissist, it’s important to understand the root of their behavior. Narcissists are self-centered, manipulative, and lack empathy for others. Some narcissists are controlling. No matter what type of narcissist they are, there are elements of them taking advantage of those around them to get what they want. You can not change the narcissist. While dealing with a narcissist may feel powerless. There is power in your ability to change how you manage the narcissist. You can protect yourself from their toxic behavior.

Set Firm Boundaries

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to understand you cannot force them to change. With that in mind, you can still take steps to protect yourself and ensure that your needs are met. For instance, you can practice assertiveness. Set limits with the narcissist to make sure they respect your boundaries. Be aware the narcissist will try to overstep your boundaries. Narcissists do not like to be told what to do. You do not have to allow yourself to be controlled by their manipulations. Setting boundaries will help you to maintain your own sanity.

Do Not Let The Narcissist Bait You

Crush the narcissist by staying focused on your truth. Do not get drawn into their manipulation and games. Instead of engaging with their hurtful words and actions, focus on your own needs. Not taking the bait will be hard for some of you. Use the D.E.E.P. technique to help you not get sucked into the narcissist’s toxic behaviors. Practice putting yourself first. Many times, the narcissist will have tested and provoked you many times over. Instead of focusing your attention on doing what you take steps to make yourself safe.  

Put Your Attention On Your Healing

It’s not a competition buttttttttt if it were, do not let the narcissist win. Every time the narcissist gets you to compromise your values, they win. You crush the narcissist by loving yourself more. This isn’t the warm, fuzzy run-off into the sunset message. It’s a fact. This is your warning sign to take your power back. The narcissist has taken enough from you. It is time to break free from suffering and become a survivor. Do everything you can to create a healed and safe space for yourself.

Do the activities you like. Consider what you want to do and what is best for you. Put your needs first. Become more comfortable knowing that putting yourself first is not selfish but supportive in your recovery from narcissistic abuse. Explore what is important to you.

Learn About Narcissism and Narcissists

Become familiar with the narcissistic cycle of abuse. This will help you to predict the next possible move. When you learn this information you are more grounded. Of course, not all narcissists have a secret playbook they follow, although they do a lot of the same manipulative behaviors. Knowing what to expect will help you to prepare yourself. Understanding narcissism will help you to be empowered.

Believe The Narcissist’s Behavior NOT The Hype

I love great quotes. To help bring insight and understanding, I sometimes share them in sessions with clients. Consider the famous Maya Angelou quote, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” So, if you are reading this, it probably means you didn’t believe them the first time. You cannot undo that part, but you don’t have to continue believing the narcissist will change. Believe what the narcissist has shown you. The lies, manipulation, gaslighting, mistrust, selfishness, and additional toxic behaviors are hard to process. Instead of holding out hope, they will change and see the narcissist for who they truly are, rather than their potential, or hoping they will become the person you once knew.

The Real Crushing of The Narcissist Is About You

How do you crush a narcissist? You do it by living well. Stay true to yourself. So much of being with a narcissist is a push-and-pull game of navigating their unending manipulations. Begin to honor your truth and trust yourself. This will take time.

It is important to find support from people who understand and care about you. When dealing with a narcissist, it is helpful to have a support system to turn to for guidance. You can do this by going to counseling, support groups, or even just talking with friends and family who understand narcissistic abuse.

Ultimately, it is important to remember no matter how hard it is to deal with a narcissist, you are in control of your own life. Your power choice to protect yourself from toxic behavior is a step in a healthy direction. With patience, understanding, and a willingness to set limits, you can recover from this painful experience.

When you’re ready for steady support that won’t rush you, this is where restoration begins to move forward, one steady step at a time.

You don’t have to figure it all out; just choose the kind of support that feels right to begin with for you.

No pressure. No rush. Just support that meets you where you are. You’re in control of what comes next.